


the unnecessity of words

by tkreyesevandiaz



Category: 9-1-1 (TV)
Genre: Confessions, Cross-Posted on Tumblr, Domestic, Domestic Fluff, M/M, More Flowery Language!, No Angst, No Dialogue, No Plot Only Vibes, POV Eddie Diaz, Pre-Relationship, Soft Eddie Diaz, in their own way, introspective, non-verbal communication
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-25
Updated: 2020-11-25
Packaged: 2021-03-10 04:01:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,380
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27707320
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tkreyesevandiaz/pseuds/tkreyesevandiaz
Summary: The inevitability of his and Buck's relationship doesn't surprise him anymore. If anything, it's that he gets to have this that leaves him off-kilter.
Relationships: Evan "Buck" Buckley/Eddie Diaz
Comments: 39
Kudos: 220





	the unnecessity of words

**Author's Note:**

  * For [gracieli](https://archiveofourown.org/users/gracieli/gifts), [from_nova](https://archiveofourown.org/users/from_nova/gifts).



> I found a tiny segment in my notes app, so here this is in full fic form!
> 
> I can't let up with these for whatever reason, but this is definitely me procrastinating some of my other WIPs.
> 
> Nova, Alicia, this one is for y'all <3

Bobby sends them home early.

Thankfully, it’s not after a catastrophe, or after a string of losses like the last time they were sent home like this. This time, it’s just a bone-deep exhaustion from a line of non-stop calls, the adrenaline keeping all of them on edge for longer than what was probably healthy. After a straight how many ever hours of balancing off the precipice to keep himself alert, Eddie can feel himself tipping forward into the peaceful blanket of sleep and he hasn't even left the station yet.

After this shift, it only takes one brush of his fingers against Buck’s waist for the other man to nod wearily, seemingly crashing harder than anyone else on the team. Eddie waits at the door, and Buck immediately presses against his side as they walk out, blearily waving to the next crew.

Eddie thinks about that a lot. He thinks of his mind as a fork in the road at times like this, multiple paths stretching out far and wide about all the things he needs to keep track of. On other days, it’s a checklist of all the thoughts he means to ponder upon at least once in a given day. 

One of those paths, one of those checkboxes, for whatever reason, are always reserved for Evan Buckley.

As they walk, Eddie trails two steps behind his best friend, their legs somehow moving in perfect sync, much like the system they’d been using for the past twelve hours straight. 

But he knows it’s more than that, because it’s  _ always  _ like this. Somehow, they manage to match up in more aspects than Eddie thought possible between two people, let alone people as different as he and Buck. But as they walk, he thinks about the familiarity of their non-verbal communication, enough that one touch is more than adequate in relaying a simple message across, and he thinks that maybe they aren't as different after all.

Buck bypasses his own Jeep to climb into the passenger seat of Eddie’s truck, and Eddie thinks about that familiarity, too. If their positions were switched, if he was the more tired one, he has no doubt that he’d have climbed into Buck’s car the exact same way.

No words needed.

Eddie heaves himself into his truck and glances over to his right to see Buck’s temple resting against the glass, eyes staring unseeingly across the parking lot. Still, he doesn’t say anything, simply turns his engine on and drives off.

The ride is spent in a comfortable silence, a lull in the chaotic framework of their everyday lives. Only once does Eddie reach out, and even then, he doesn’t use words; instead, he pulls Buck away from the door to stop him from hitting his head against the window again, moving his grip down to Buck’s hand.

The breath of relief Buck lets out hits Eddie hard, because he knows what it means. Just for that, Eddie tightens his grip a little more, drumming a thumb on smooth skin.

One of the very first observations Eddie had ever made about the man next to him was that Buck, despite being as open as he is with his heart, keeps many of his cards clutched close. His walls aren’t as obvious as Eddie’s, but they  _ are  _ there, and they’re tall enough to hide all of him away from view if he so wished. Eddie knows that if one isn't watching closely, it's very easy for Buck to get away with letting his mind control him.

Then, slowly, as their friendship progressed, Eddie began to read Buck’s expressions like another language — nervous tics, awkward laughs, the cornered feeling in his eye when he’s uncomfortable, the crow’s feet when he laughs genuinely, the dimple that peeks out when he smiles. It's all of this he draws on as he begins to trace patterns with his thumb to keep him with him.

And he knows it’s the same for Buck, too. Buck reads him easier than anyone has ever done in his life, more than anyone’s ever taken the time to do so. Because Eddie knows Buck has artfully woven his way past all the barriers Eddie’s put up around him and his son — it's a simple fact now, after weeks and months of struggling with that realization.

Eddie reaching for him now is his way of telling Buck that he's been seen, and he's been heard — even without saying or doing anything, and by Buck's sigh, he knows it, too. For that, the warmth of pride snakes around Eddie's ribs and settles into his skin with a soft glow.

As Eddie pulls into his driveway and turns the engine off, the silence wrapping snugly around them, they tilt near the center console, neither willing to leave. Eddie rolls down the windows a tad, content to sit and let the wind whip through the truck, keeping them in the here and now as the last of the adrenaline fades.

Buck moves first, his hand dislodging from Eddie’s only to latch onto his wrist. Eddie gets that feeling — the unwillingness to let the other man go, because his hand suddenly feels empty without the weight of Buck’s. Still, he stares down at where Buck’s fingers are splayed across his skin, strong yet gentle. The steady thump of his heart echoes against Eddie’s artery until it feels like they’re sharing the same pulse, just as synchronous as always.

They haven’t said a single word to each other all evening, just content to be in each other’s orbit. But somehow, even as they climb out of the car only to gravitate to one another’s sides again as if those ten seconds apart were too much, the curl of Buck’s fingers around Eddie’s wrist feels significant now. It feels a lot like the volume in Eddie’s head is ramped up as high as it could do, rendering him incapable of thinking of anything else.

The voice in his head speaks louder than his tongue ever could, putting this one truth Eddie hides in his heart up front in center. He doesn’t deny it, knowing that would be futile, but he doesn’t present the words, either.

Instead, he watches Buck patiently as the other man pulls out the key to Eddie’s house, letting them in with another brand of familiarity that makes him think about how much more time they need to waste to finally remove the line they stepped past months ago.

They stop in the entryway, and Buck finally turns to look at him for the first time since they left the station. Exhaustion has carved its name in the sallow expression on Buck’s face, but somehow, he still looks alert as he smiles softly.

Eddie wonders if this is how it all starts for them, at the back end of a shift he isn’t sure he would’ve survived if not for Buck. For once, he doesn’t think about when it ends, because in his mind, there is no doubt that what he and Buck have  _ won’t  _ end.

Buck’s it for him.

It’s that conviction that gives Eddie the courage to gently turn his hand over to link their fingers, squeezing gently and smiling, letting Buck know that he can take anything he wants. His partner’s grin only grows, soft and sweet as always, and Eddie falls a little bit more.

And when Buck finally tugs Eddie in to kiss him softly, they don’t need words then, either. It’s natural, easy. Whatever’s been lost in him shifts in place and leaves him feeling like both his feet are squarely on the ground. The inevitability of his and Buck's relationship doesn't surprise him anymore. If anything, it's that he _gets_ to have this that leaves him off-kilter.

Eddie lifts a hand to cradle Buck's head, keeping him close even as they separate. He  gestures down the hallway towards his room, pulling Buck behind him so they can get ready for bed and give in to the lure of sleep.

There’s no energy to do anything else tonight, but for now, holding one another is enough.

(First thing the next morning, Eddie gives Buck the words that have pushed at his throat for months, and hears them back instantly, soft and genuine.)

**Author's Note:**

> Kudos and Comments make my day, so thank you to everyone who leaves them! I love hearing what you guys think, and anyone who takes time out of their day to comment has my heart and soul ♥
> 
> You can find me on Tumblr at [zeethebooknerd](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/zeethebooknerd) or on Twitter at [tkreyesevandiaz](https://twitter.com/tkreyesevandiaz).


End file.
